Tuesday, March 04, 2008
On Being Fat
I heard from a friend today that Marco Materazzi had actually explained what he said to Zidane which prompted the infamous headbutt (video here). Basically, Materazzi claims that what happened was that Zidane sarcastically said that there was no need to try and get his shirt now, he could have it after the game, and Materazzi replied that he'd much rather have Zidane's sister. This put me in mind of the greatest reply to a piece of sledging ever. On being asked by the Australian fast bowler Glenn McGrath, who terrorised much better batsman during a Test career that lasted fifteen years and included the most Test wickets ever by a fast bowler, why exactly he was quite so rotund, Eddo Brandes, Zimbabwean bowler and part-time chicken farmer, replied that every time he f*cked McGrath's wife, she gave him a biscuit. History does not record exactly what happened to Brandes after that: one suspects his stay at the wicket did not last much longer. Viv Richards' 'you know what it looks like: now go and find it' on having deposited someone with the temerity to question whether he knew what a cricket ball looked like, let alone whether he could put a bat on it, out of the ground pales in comparison.